k0wts.o90

o891. A teacher asked her young student,
‘Why should you never accept candy from strangers?’
One girl knew.
‘Because it might be past the sell-by date.’

o892. Thought of the day:
“Walang taong panget,
Nagkataon lang na yung mukha nila, hindi uso.”

o893. THINGS THAT BRING GREAT PEACE:
Try to do another’s will rather than your own.
Always choose to have less rather than more.
Always choose the lowest place and to be less than everyone else.
Always long and pray that the will of God may be fully done throughout your life!

o894. Seek what you wish from God, not from men.
Be satisfied in joy; there is honor therein.
On friends and relatives be not a burden.
Rich is he who hopes from God, not from men.

o895. The value of service lies in the spirit in which you serve and not in the importance or magnitude of the service.
Even the lowliest task or deed is made holy, joyous, and prosperous when it is filled with love.

o896. A teacher was doing a study of testing the sense of taste of 1st-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The pupils began to identify the flavors by their colors: red, cherry, yellow, lemon, etc.
Lastly, teacher gave them HONEY Lifesavers,
None of the pupils could identify taste so she gave them a clue,
‘It’s what ur mother sometimes call ur father.’
One of the pupils looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver and yelled,
‘Oh my God! They’re assholes!’

o897. GUY ask his WIFE:
Darling, what wuld u do if I’ve won in lotto?
Wife: I’d take half, then leave you.
Guy: Good! I bet on Sueltres lotto three numbers & won P1000, take ur P500..
Good bye!

o898. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” --Plato

o899. A Taleban terrorist didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with ‘return to sender’ stamped on it.
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it.
BOOM!

o900. At a Rotarian meeting, the members were challenged to come up with an insipirational sentence using the word countenance.
The winning entry was ‘I put a cheerful countenance on people every day.’
It was submitted by a mortuary owner.