Monday, April 26, 2010


o911. Question:
When do you congratulate someone for their mistake?
On their wedding..

o912. Bruce: I’m kinda scared. I got a letter that says if I don’t stop dating his wife, he’s gonna shoot me.
Vince: Well, then stop.
Bruce: Which one? It wasnt signed!

o913. I'm not wishing for an instant happily ever after
I'm just hoping for a real, sincere love
Eventhough the relationship won't last forever.

o914. "The heart was made to be broken." --Oscar Wilde

o915. "I refuse to let what happened make me feel bitter.
I still completely believe in love,
And I am open to anything that will happen to me."
--Nicole Kidman

o916. "When you break up,
Your whole identity is shattered.
It's like death."
--Dennis Quaid

o917. Mother Theresa:
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

o918. A million words would no bring you back,
I know because I tried.
Neither would a million tears,
I know because I cried.

o919. Jesus said,
"I will no longer call you servants,
Because a servant does not know his master's business.
Instead I have called you friends,
For everything I've learned from my Father,
I have made known to you."

o920. A wise man once said that every person should maintain at least three kinf of friendships:
1. Friends of your age whom you can talk over your problems, goals, plans and confidence.
2. Friends younger than you whom you can share your life's experiences.
3. Friends older than you whom you can confide and be assured of wise counsel.
It is not in being helped but in helping others that you can find release from your inner tensions.
Be strong always.


o901. Definition of Honeymoon
The vacation a man takes before beginning work under a new boss..

o902. Life is like cotton, don’t make it heavier by sinking it in sorrow of water,
But make it lighter by letting it blow in the air of joy..

o903. “If every beat 0f my heart is caused by pe0ple wh0 are kind and sweet t0 me,
I just want t0 say, THANK YOU..
For keeping me ALIVE!”

o904. They love u but they are not your lover..
They care for u but they are not from your family..
They are ready to share your pain but they are not in your blood relation.
They are:
True friend scolds like a Dad!
Cares like a Mom!
Teases like a Sister!
Irritates like a Brother!
And finally loves u more than a lover.

o905. Content:
There are two perfect guys out there,
The only problem is they’re dating each other.

o906. Mahirap magsabi ng “sorry”
Mahirap magsabi ng "mahal kita"
Mahirap magsabi ng "kailangan kita"
Pero nalaman ko, pinakamahirap palang sabihin yung
Lower, rural, ruler ng 10 times na mabilis.
Totoo, try mo!

o907. Babae: Sabong, bilyar, casino! Puro ka na lng sugal! Pinababayaan mo na kami!
Lalake: Magbabago na ako! Mula ngaun, di ko na gagawin lahat un.
Babae: Talaga lng, ha?!
Lalake: Oo nga! Kahit magpustahan pa tayo!

o908. Many times, the things we complain about are the good things.
We grumble about having too much work while others don’t even have.
We complain waking up early in the morning while others don’t even have a reason to live.
We grouse about gaining weight while others don’t even have food on their tables.
Everyday, the Lord fills our lives with so much goodness.
All we need to do is open our eyes and give thanks for each of them..

o909. To laugh is to risk appearing foolish.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing one’s true self.
To place ideas before a crowd is to risk ridicule.
To hope is to risk despair.
Yet the person who risks nothing and does nothing ultimately becomes nothing.

o910. A boy writing a paper on childbirth asks his parents, ‘How was I born?’
MOM: (awkwardly) The stork brought you.
BOY: Oh. Well, how were u & daddy born?
MOM: Oh, the stork brought us, too, & Grandpa & Grandma.
The boy wrote his paper,
‘This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact there hasn’t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations…’


o891. A teacher asked her young student,
‘Why should you never accept candy from strangers?’
One girl knew.
‘Because it might be past the sell-by date.’

o892. Thought of the day:
“Walang taong panget,
Nagkataon lang na yung mukha nila, hindi uso.”

Try to do another’s will rather than your own.
Always choose to have less rather than more.
Always choose the lowest place and to be less than everyone else.
Always long and pray that the will of God may be fully done throughout your life!

o894. Seek what you wish from God, not from men.
Be satisfied in joy; there is honor therein.
On friends and relatives be not a burden.
Rich is he who hopes from God, not from men.

o895. The value of service lies in the spirit in which you serve and not in the importance or magnitude of the service.
Even the lowliest task or deed is made holy, joyous, and prosperous when it is filled with love.

o896. A teacher was doing a study of testing the sense of taste of 1st-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The pupils began to identify the flavors by their colors: red, cherry, yellow, lemon, etc.
Lastly, teacher gave them HONEY Lifesavers,
None of the pupils could identify taste so she gave them a clue,
‘It’s what ur mother sometimes call ur father.’
One of the pupils looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver and yelled,
‘Oh my God! They’re assholes!’

o897. GUY ask his WIFE:
Darling, what wuld u do if I’ve won in lotto?
Wife: I’d take half, then leave you.
Guy: Good! I bet on Sueltres lotto three numbers & won P1000, take ur P500..
Good bye!

o898. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” --Plato

A Taleban terrorist didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with ‘return to sender’ stamped on it.
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it.

o900. At a Rotarian meeting, the members were challenged to come up with an insipirational sentence using the word countenance.
The winning entry was ‘I put a cheerful countenance on people every day.’
It was submitted by a mortuary owner.


o881. Have you ever asked yourself why does everything in this world have to be complicated?
Why do we have to see lots of varieties and choices yet we only need one?
Why can't everything just be simple?
That's life.
Enjoy it!
It doesn't matter if you pick up the wrong one.
After all, how will you know which is right if you don't know which is wrong?


Saan nagtatago ang mga taong may pagkakasala at umiiwas sa imbestigasyon?
NOON: Sa simbahan.
NGAYON: Sa St. Luke’s Medical Center

MISIS: Hoy! Lasing ka na naman! Napakairesponsable mo! Lumalaklak ka na naman samantalang yung mga anak natin, wala nang makain!
MISTER: Anong wala? Ipinadala ko na nga yung pulutan sa bahay, eh!

o884. Happiness is a product of the mind, of attitude and thought.
It comes from you, not to you.
To be happy you must choose to be happy;
The Scriptures say, ‘as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.’
Stay happy!

o885. We’re all fighting a battle of some kind, but some are not winning!

Winners have one thing in common: a strong faith that refuses to quit.

o886.A gangster, a rapist, and a murderer are in the same car..

Who’s driving the car?
A police officer!

o887. Man prays to God:
Dear God give me hard times,
Give me pain,
Destroy my sleep at night,
Destroy my happy moments during the day,
Let loose a ghost behind my back,
Take away my happiness and comforts,
Make me bankrupt ..
And God interrupts:
"Why don’t you simply say you want a wife?"

We feel secure in our own home or community,
But when we are put into unfamiliar surroundings,
We can easily become frightened.
Faith is adapting yourself to the unfamiliar.
Faith says you’re adaptable!
This is the opportunity to grow.

In times of problems..
God gives us 3 things:
The problem,
The solution,
And the lesson.

o890. Kapag balisa ka remember God’s promises.
Kapag inis ka, control yourself.
Kapag may problema ka, pray.
At kapag wala kang pera, isipin mo ako.
Hindi ka nag-iisa!
Wala rin akong pera…

Monday, April 19, 2010


o871. Hindi naman lahat ng taong sa palagay mong special ay dapat mong makarelasyon.
Minsan, tama na yung alam nyong mahalaga kayo sa isa't isa.

o872. A valuable thought:
"Don't show so much love to anyone because it creates a non-curable pain when they start avoiding you."

o873. If someone throws a stone on you, throw back love.
But if someone throws love at you,
Think well.
Don't just throw back love.
Because love might hurt more than a stone.

o874. "Don't try to understand everything,
Because sometimes, it's not meant to understand.
But, rather to accept."

o875. Don't waste your time and effort crying all over the same reason again and again.
Once is enough,
A second time is enough,
And the third is not necessary.
Keep in mind that there are things worth fighting for.
But there are also things worth letting go.
The only things you should keep are the LESSONS you've learned.
And the MEMORIES which made you happy.
Always remember there is always a bright side to everything.

o876. GIRL: Nagddrugs ka ba?
BOY: Why should I pollute my precious body with unnecessary drugs when my only desire is your smile to make me HIGH.

o877. There's nothing wrong in making mistakes.
What's wrong is letting it stay as a mistake without the effort of making it right.

o878. Always remember that God only makes happy endings.
If it's not happy,
Then it is not yet the end.
Live by love and hope.
There's always something to look forward to.

o879. "If you have a chance to seize a moment that you know will be memorable, GRAB IT!
Always think that NEXT TIME may never come."

o880. Never be tired of doing little things for others,
Sometimes those little things are the big things which are treasured and kept in their hearts.